Covid 19 Some laughs to keep your cheerful (some bad language)
Golden Oldie may be appropriate for today
Government Programs Resurrected
EMPLOYEE NOTICE
>
> Due to the current financial situation caused by the Corona Virus and
slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to
put workers of 50 years of age and older on early, mandatory retirement,
thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
>
> This program will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
>
> Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered
for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
>
> Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
>
> A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the
Government deems appropriate.
>
> Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance).
>
> Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
any further by the Government.
>
> Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always
prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
>
> Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to
the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you
can handle.
>
> Sincerely,
> The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
>
> PS - Due to Corona Virus, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of
electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at
the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Government Programs Resurrected
EMPLOYEE NOTICE
>
> Due to the current financial situation caused by the Corona Virus and
slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to
put workers of 50 years of age and older on early, mandatory retirement,
thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
>
> This program will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
>
> Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered
for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
>
> Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
>
> A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the
Government deems appropriate.
>
> Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance).
>
> Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
any further by the Government.
>
> Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always
prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
>
> Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to
the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you
can handle.
>
> Sincerely,
> The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
>
> PS - Due to Corona Virus, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of
electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at
the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Colin Lambert.
Poole, Dorset.
Diploma Auto Eng.
Moderator Karoq & HR-V Fora.
(Kodiaq Forum Moderator, resigned!)
Poole, Dorset.
Diploma Auto Eng.
Moderator Karoq & HR-V Fora.
(Kodiaq Forum Moderator, resigned!)
Sorry, this was a forwarded Facebook video which has now time expired.
IF THIS DOESN'T CHEER YOU UP IN THESE SAD TIMES. NOTHING WILL!
IF THIS DOESN'T CHEER YOU UP IN THESE SAD TIMES. NOTHING WILL!
Colin Lambert.
Poole, Dorset.
Diploma Auto Eng.
Moderator Karoq & HR-V Fora.
(Kodiaq Forum Moderator, resigned!)
Poole, Dorset.
Diploma Auto Eng.
Moderator Karoq & HR-V Fora.
(Kodiaq Forum Moderator, resigned!)